


all the days we're together

by archeryian



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Post-Canon, a totally cathartic pile of stuff, and ofc rey and rose, and plenty of finn and rey friendship bc we were robbed, and v Rey centric, bc again we were robbed, bc my girl needs time to heal, her training him, jedi!Finn, listen there’s a lot of hugs and feelings in this, r!ylo is mentioned and acknowledged but she's moving past it, with a healthy side of damerey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:28:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22332667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archeryian/pseuds/archeryian
Summary: “Can I ask you something? I mean, it’s not really my business,” He rubs a hand against the stubble on his jaw, “But I don't know, I'm curious and nosy, and I figured that maybe you’d want to talk about it—”She mercifully cuts him off, “Just ask, Poe.”“Did you love Kylo Ren?”A thousand generations live in her now and how she deals with it.
Relationships: Finn/Rose Tico, Poe Dameron/Rey
Comments: 32
Kudos: 150





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I didn’t/still don't like r*ylo I acknowledge that it’s canon so she's going to work through her feelings for Ben and losing him. but again, that ship really ain’t it for me. Also I ship Finnpoe just as much as Damerey, Poe just really kept popping in my head and the tensionTM. When someone looks as good as Oscar Isaac, what is ship loyalty?? don’t know her
> 
> (this wasn't proofread, so sorry for mistakes i'll come back and fix it before i upload the other half)

Rey blinks away tears as the last bit of Tatooine’s suns set over the horizon. For a moment she thinks of the story that started here, so similar to her own on an equally hot and sandy planet. It feels nice to come here at the end of all of it too.

She stays there until the winds begin to cool and all she’s looking at is a blanket of stars. Suddenly, BB-8 is next to her beeping and then she hears, “Want to talk about it?”

She turns to see Finn walking toward her, away from the ramp of the Falcon. She gives him a half smile. “Do you think we can stay the night here?”

When he reaches over to hug her, she throws her arms around him. “As long as you need.”

They can’t stay here forever; there’s a Republic to rebuild and peace to be maintained. Yet one evening to mourn and hope, after a long and painful war, is what she deserves so she buries her head in Finn’s shoulder, trying not to think of Palpatine’s laugh at the lit up sky, Leia’s Force signature going out, or Ben’s falling figure.

Rey wants to tell her friend everything. She will, in time. For now, having him and BB-8, whose leaning against their legs, is enough. They stay like that until another set of footsteps approach them.

“Oops, sorry to interrupt the moment.”

They look up to see Poe standing back, not looking very sorry at all. He’s grinning and Rey can’t help but return it. Finn, who still has an arm slung around her, rolls his eyes. “What? Did you break something on the Falcon again?”

“What do you mean again? I’m one of the best pilots in the galaxy—”

“In the _galaxy_?”

Poe glares at her. He walks over to them and his expression changes as he examines her face in a thoughtful and soft way that makes her throat tighten a bit. “You good?”

She looks back, one of the most frustrating and courageous people she’s met in all of this. She opens up the arm that’s not around Finn. “Come join the hug, General Dameron.”

Poe groans. “Another group hug?” But it’s not very effective because he's clearly fighting a smile. He marches over and hugs Rey and Finn.

And after everything that’s been lost, standing there with her two best friends under a desert planet’s sky, Rey knows that she is not alone.

* * *

“You’re doing it wrong—”

“Am I doing it wrong or just not your way?”

“Wrong! You’re going to ruin the converter belts—”

“I wish Chewie was here.” She hears Finn mutter behind her. She’s sure he’s glaring at Poe and her from his seat across the room. “Honestly, we all just had a moment and you guys are already back to biting each others heads off.”

BB-8 beeps in agreement and then—

“Fine! Fine, here. You get to pilot.” Poe stands up, running a hand through his hair. Rey pretends that his ruffled hair isn't cute and smirks in victory. Poe looks even more annoyed by this and declares, “I’m going to go take a nap.”

“Good, Finn and I will make sure we get back to Ajan Kloss in one piece.” She shouts after him, and only gets irked grumbles in response. She’s glad her back is to Finn and BB because she's smiling a little too widely.

Her relationship with Poe is odd, she knows that, but having someone to argue with was fun. Amidst the war and real fighting of their eveyrday lives, bickering with him made Rey feel less alone. When they fought, she was just another member of the Resistance, not some all-powerful Jedi. No matter the cattiness of their arguments, their exasperation and anger never lasted long.

After a few minutes of navigating, and jumping to light speed, she turns around to see Finn staring at a half-played game of dejarik.

She goes over and plops onto the seat across from him. “Mind if I play?”

“Please do. I was a minute away from asking BB-8 to join in on the game.” BB gives a few indignant beeps and announces he’s going to go find Poe instead and rolls out.

As soon as he’s gone, Rey turns to Finn and blurts out, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He asks, face turning confused.

“For running off so much, for pushing you away and not telling you what was going on with me. I don't want you to think I don't trust you because I do, more than anyone. It’s just—” She lets out a deep breathe and shrugs.

Finn watches her with scrunched up eyebrows that cause a wrinkle on his forehead. “Then why did you? Shut me out.”

“I was scared," she admits. "Of what I was capable of doing. Who I was. I thought I was doing you a favor by keeping you away from me but,” she looks out into the streaks of hyperspace, “I was wrong. I’m sorry I did.”

“It’s fine.”

Her head snaps to him, but Finn’s back to smiling.

“Really, it is. You had so much going on and so much pressure, and yeah I wanted to be there for you, but I get why you did it. I wish you hadn’t, but you’re my best friend, Rey. I forgive you. Next time, just tell me what’s going on.”

The understanding in his face makes Rey so grateful she met him on Jakku on that day that feels like a lifetime ago.

* * *

In the quiet nights after Exegol, Rey falls asleep in her cot, curled into a ball.

When sleep evades her or nightmares become too garish, she gets up and grabs Ben’s sweater from her small pile of possessions. She traces the hole in the chest area, the one she’d made in a fit of rage and fear. She thinks of everything that’s happened to lead her here now.

Her friends still don’t even know everything that happened. After her conversation with Finn, she knows she needs, wants, to tell them. Finn will be surprised but he’ll understand, same with Rose. It was Poe’s reaction she was unsure about.

He had his own special dislike for Kylo Ren. From what she knows, he had met Ben several times back when he was just Leia’s pouty child. With everything that has happened in the years after, Poe blames Ben for a lot of things, Leia’s suffering alongside the galaxy’s.

But he’s her friend and he’ll listen to her. 

The next morning, Rey’s grateful her group of friends is made up of early risers as she pulls Finn, Poe, and Rose aside.

She tells them about the Emperor, her parents, and Ben turning to the Light to fight by her side. She speaks of a life Force given and if she leaves out a kiss, well that’s her business. It is, for her, a private part of her story that she doesn’t mind keeping to herself. She hints at something more between her and Ben, but leaves it up to them to decide what it is exactly.

Surprisingly, or not because she’s the kindest person Rey knows aside from Finn, Rose immediately pulls her into a hug. “You’re still Rey.” She gives her a tight squeeze, “And I’m so grateful to know you.”

Rey smiles when Rose pulls back, then feels Finn grabbing her hand and squeezing. “Thanks for telling us, but I still feel the same.” Finn looks at Rose and then back to her and repeats. “No matter who your birth family is, you’re my family too.”

She is the last Jedi so she will not burst into tears over the words, even if she _really_ wants to. Now, she looks to Poe, standing back from them. He looks pensive, like he's reading over battle plans, trying to figure out the other side's moves. She begins to say something else, but suddenly he looks up at her and smiles, “What they said. It’s a privilege to know you. We’re all still a family. Always.”

“Thanks.” Because what else is she going to so, other than start sobbing, which okay maybe she might anyway.

Walking up to their little group, just like in the Tatooine desert, Poe beams. “At least there wasn’t a group hug this time.”

Finn reaches out his arm and Poe swats it away, leaving Rose and Rey in a fit of laughter.

* * *

Poe is interim leader. He repeatedly says he doesn’t want to be, flat out refuses when several people throughout the galaxy ask him to, but he is.

“I’m tired. I’m a pilot, a general, not a peacetime senator. I’m not what the galaxy needs.”

The remnants of the Resistance disagree, Rey included. She knows what it’s like to take on such a heavy burden when you don't want it, even if hers is filled with ghosts and half-forgotten traditions. She knows that it’s something you have to do anyway.

“There is no one else who can do it that has the connections, power, and charisma that you have.” Kaydel Ko Connix tells him when a small group of them are arguing with Poe. When he looks even more weary, she adds. “At least, not yet. It’ll be a few years until things are stable enough not to have a militarized leader, but right now you’re needed to keep everything together. The peace needs to keep after all these years of instability.”

“There is no else who can do this but you, General Dameron.” Aftab Ackbar joins.

“No one’s even sure if we’re going back to the same governmental system as before,” Finn says, meeting Poe’s eyes. “The galaxy needs you.”

  
After a clap on the back, he, Aftab, and Kaydel walk off to Rose and Snap, who are fretfully arguing over transporting some of their tech to New Coruscant, the planet that’s been chosen to build the Republic’s new capital. Things were in the early stages, but the Resistance was moving there.

Rey watches Poe’s stormy expression before leaning towards him. “Leia would want you to do it.” It may be a low blow, but it’s a true one. He sinks deeper into his chair and rubs a hand to his forehead.

The sun is setting on Ajan Kloss, the day has been long and filled with packing up and arguing about the future.As the slinking sun shines on Poe’s face, she can only imagine what he’s thinking. How he must be filled with wishes to finally _rest_ and stay in one place for a while, to see the green forests of his home planet that he’d told her and Finn about over a campfire months ago. She’d been able to picture Yavin IV with the way Poe had described the trees and the look of pure nostalgia on his face.

She wonders if he’s thinking of a time of peace like she is.

But he knows his job, she knows he does. He’s General Dameron, leader of the Resistance. Leia gave him the title, and he would've even if she hadn't because that’s what he does. Helping the Republic reform and stabilize is his duty, whether he likes it or not. Just like being the future for the next generations of Jedi is hers.

“You’re right.” He admits with an exhale. “All these years of war mean nothing if we don't make sure the peace stays.” It’s a sentence he never wanted. She can relate.

_It’s time for the Jedi Order to end._

_A thousand generations live in you now._

_I am all of the Jedi._

“Don’t sound too upset that I’m right.” She nudges his leg with hers. It’s easy to joke with one another, and she wants to make him bicker and smile begrudgingly, if only to ease her own mind.

It’s exactly what he does. “Its not just you, Jedi. It’s what everyone else has been harping about to me for the past week.”

For some reason, the statement reminds her that while Finn and Poe have their duties and plans, she doesn’t, not really. Now that the war is over, she wonders if she once again must find her place in all this. If going off to find others who are Force-sensitive and train them should be her plan or something else entirely. With Palpatine gone, what was she needed for now?

“Will you help me?” he asks. It’s said with quiet hesitation and Rey turns to find him already staring at her somewhat vulnerably.

Vulnerable wasn’t a word she had ever really associated with Poe, but in the past few months, especially the past few days, she thinks she's not the only one confused and fearful for everything that’s coming next.

“Of course.”

* * *

So it is decided that General Poe Dameron will be in charge of leading the Republic and Senate until it’s more than shambles and dreams.

Finn helps rebuild and stays in leadership with Poe.

She had been worried that when Jannah went off to find more information about her and other ex-Stormtroopers, Finn would be going with her. When she’d asked about it, he had said simply, “I'm already with my family. Maybe one day I’ll look for my old one, but not now. It’s not the time.” Still, he gets updates on Jannah’s search that she embarked on with Lando and Chewie and the other ex-Stormtroopers.

The goodbye to Chewie was harder than Rey thought it would be, but he clearly needed time away to mourn Han, Luke, and Leia, so she sent him off with a brave face and misty eyes. The heroes of the last war had been his family, and though this war had not been kind to anyone, it had been especially hard on Chewbacca.

Does he think of Ben, she wonders as the Millennium Falcon goes off, a boy he’d watched since birth, who he’d once let climb him when he’d been small enough for it? His best friend’s son fallen to the Dark Side, but still a Solo. Then again, Ben’s also the reason he’s mourning the other three.

It has been weeks since Exegol, and thinking of Ben is still a complicated pain in her chest. How do you mourn someone who helped order the destruction of planets, yet helped to save them all in the end, saved her? A man who was the leader of pain and suffering in the galaxy but someone who was manipulated since he was a child? How do you mourn someone who you could have loved?

As the ship vanishes into space, she wonders if there is any one left in the galaxy who mourns Ben Solo besides her. Could she blame them? The hurt he’d caused wasn’t erased by his turn to the Light. She had forgiven him, but their relationship had been complicated until the very end.

_You have no place in this story. You come from nothing, you’re nothing._

_You’re not alone._

_We are a dyad in the Force._

She walks away from the hanger and thoughts of Ben follow her.

In between talks about the Senate and her training, she meditates. Every time she does, she holds herself back from chanting _be with me_ , because seeing Ben Solo is not something she’s ready for. She is still trying to find her place in all of this. Again. It hurts less this time. Finn pesters her if she’s gotten enough sleep and Poe brings her snacks and bowls of whatever he ate for dinner when she doesn't show up in the mess, and Rose plops down next to her that evening when she's working, bringing her own stuff to tinker with.

Ben was right, she isn't alone. Just not in the way either of them thought.

* * *

“I think I’m Force sensitive.”

The path on New Coruscant that they’d been walking on is rocky, covered with overgrown grass and crumbling stone, so she blames it on that when she nearly falls over at his words.

Rey rights her self, staring at Finn. He's watching her nervously, shuffling his feet.

She would have noticed if he was. Yet when she reaches out to him in the Force to get a feeling of his emotions and thoughts, he responds with a feeble reach of his own, to show her his flashes of guidance and feelings. An instinct.

Oh.

“Okay.” A slow and beaming smile creeps up on her face, lightness surrounding her, humming between her and Finn. The most surprising thing about this situation is that it isn’t all that surprising. This is _Finn_ , smart, loyal, and so, so kind. “Do you want to start training with me?”

He’s shy about it, she can tell. “I don’t want to tell anyone that I’m Force sensitive or that we’re training.”

  
“Why?”

He gives a half-hearted shrug. “What if I’m terrible? I don’t want the first Jedi you teach to be a mess.”

“What if I’m a terrible teacher? We’ll both be learning.” It’s one of her biggest fears. She has to do it, but Luke hadn't taught her much, and Leia was her most formal teacher, but even she hadn't done Jedi training in years.

Being a teacher isn't something she thinks she’ll be good at. It’s one of many reasons she's put off seeking students. They are things to think about for another time. Finn looked like the one in need of reassurance right now. “You’ll do great,” she tells him, knocking his shoulder with her own. “But I can keep it between us for now, if you want.”

So she trains him.She shows him everything Luke, Leia, and herself worked for.

When he makes his lightsaber, it’s a vibrant green. Swinging it back and forth with him in the hidden training grounds, she realizes he’s strong. Not at Ben’s level of strength, or hers, but maybe one day he could be.

They work when they can, whenever Senate talks stall or get so tedious they need to blow off some steam.

“I think I want to tell Poe and Rose.” The announcement comes when they're both covered in sweat and smiling. He'd just managed his first difficult training course. “Will you go with me?”

She nods, straightening herself and imagines Poe’s reaction. _Am I gonna be the only one not able to move rocks with their mind?_ It makes her smile. 

Looking at Finn and the emerald glow of his lightsaber, Rey is grateful that a thousand generations live in him now, too.

* * *

“So.”

“So?”

Poe’s sitting across from, frowning. She and Poe usually ate their lunches together, sometimes in companionable silence, other times fun stories are shared. Poe had the annoying ability to make her laugh and talk about things even when she didn't want to.

Which is why his current hesitance is a little nerve-racking. If there’s anything she’s learned about him, it’s that Poe Dameron speaks his mind and acts according to what he thinks is right. It’s something she admires. It’s annoying when they’re arguing and he refuses to believe he’s wrong, but mostly admirable.

“Can I ask you something? I mean, it’s not really my business,” He rubs a hand against the stubble on his jaw, “But I don't know, I'm curious and nosy, and I figured that maybe you’d want to talk about it—”

She mercifully cuts him off. “Just ask, Poe.”

“Did you love Kylo Ren?”

She blinks and then looks around the room that is, thankfully, empty. They’d taken their lunch later than most. After a moment, she takes a shaky breathe and turns back to him.

“I think,” she says, nudging her food around her plate and ignoring the sting in her chest, “I think I could have loved Ben Solo.” She forces herself to look at Poe’s face. “At least, I wanted to. If things had turned out differently. Maybe.”

She thinks of the kiss. She’d kissed Ben because she was happy that he was there, that they were both alive in that moment with the Light shining so bright in him. If he had lived, what would have come after is a mystery to her. Mostly because, most of what she felt for him was confusing. Some moments she disliked Ben, was so angry at him, and in others he seemed to be the most kindred spirit she thought she’d ever find.

Now with him gone, Rey knows that he had so much to make up for, to her, to the galaxy. Things were not as simple as a kiss and a happy ending.

“Okay,” Poe says with quick nod, bringing her back away from thoughts of feverish lips pressed against hers. “I’m sorry you lost him.”

He looks genuine and she’s grateful for it. She thinks that’ll be the end of it, but apparently she does want to talk about it because she continues. “I saw the person he was inside, away from the voices and fear and anger. I—I thought he was the only one who understood what it felt like, this…loneliness I have inside of me. The power, too.”

Poe’s not looking at her angry or disappointed, just concerned. It gives her the strength she needs to continue.

“He made me feel less alone. And I know that he didn't have any time to make up for everything he’d done and so much was unforgivable, but I felt the way I felt. I saw the trapped man inside of him.” She feels the urge to apologize, but she won’t. She had seen the good in Ben and she had been right about it. She doesn’t regret having faith in him, just like she knows she won’t regret talking with Poe now. “We kissed when he brought me back.”

_I am all the Jedi._

_Ben. A real smile, and then nothing._

They sit there, looking at the other trying to figure out what else to say. Just when she’s just about to demand that Poe say something, he speaks.

“I’m sorry.” Although the words might seem lackluster, the emphatic sincerity in them aren’t. Poe is looking at her like he understands, and she’s reminded that he’s lost a lot too. His own feelings toward Ben aside, he knows what it’s like to lose people, those she’s known and those he lost long before he met her.

“It’s okay.” And it was. If things were different, if she had gotten the chance to live and love with Ben, losing him might have been unbearably painful. But like she had learned, some things remained unfinished and all she had to do was keep moving.

There was an entire future untraveled with Ben, a life that disappeared along with his body in the dirt of Exegol.

Had she loved him? No, but she had really wanted to.

“You’re not alone. Finn, Chewie, Rose, Connix,” Poe swallows and reaches for her hand, “And me. We’re here with you. Today, tomorrow, and for everyday after.”

She likes the sound of that and offers him a small smile.

He returns it. There’s something in the air, that makes her want to inch closer, something that always lingered between in them in their most heated argument and quietest moments. Instead, they work at finishing their food.

“Part of the reason I hated him so much was because of how much he hurt Leia.” Poe says once he finishes his stew. She watches as his jaw clenches. “I thought of her like another mother. I saw what losing Ben did to her.”

Ben had not been a frequent point of conversation between Rey and Leia. She could see how much talking about him hurt the general and Rey had had her own stuff to think about with him. Again, there was a world of hurt between Leia and Ben, Poe and Ben, and Poe and Leia that was around long before her.

Poe passes her his fruit jelly. It's her favorite. “But he saved your life so it’s hard to hate him now. Besides, Leia never hated him and neither did you. So, I’m sorry he didn't make it.”

“Me too.” Her breathing had evened out throughout their conversation and she’s grateful to have Poe in her life, even if he annoys her senselessly sometimes. “But I’m glad the rest of us are still here.” She accepts the jelly. Then, the moment, if you could even call it that, which she wouldn’t but maybe, ends with the loud thump of the mess doors swinging open.

“Are they serving fruit jelly?!”

Finn shouts, walking into the mess looking disheveled and tired after what must have been a long chat with Corellia officials. He was only other person who likes the food as much as her, so she puts her arm protectively around it and begins digging into it as he approaches.

“Poe, did you save me yours? I know you don't like it.” Finn plops down in his usual tunic and leather vest, apparently not interested in getting his own yet.

“Sorry,” Poe tells Finn. “Already had mine taken.”

* * *

After Luke and Leia on Tatooine, Rey hasn't seen any other Force ghosts. She hasn’t tried and hasn't wanted to, but sometimes if she turns or sits up too fast, she’ll see a flash of him in the corner of her eye. A glimpse of the gentle smile she saw in Ben’s last moments, a man who once had been filled with so much turmoil at peace.

She turns away from it.

Thinking of Ben and all the maybes hurt, but where there was once a raw wound, is more of a resigned understanding. They had been complicated and more similar than she wanted to admit, but he was gone.

Talking to Poe helped. She’d even opened up to Finn and Rose about it a few days after. It made her feel braver.

What she had told Poe was true, maybe she could have loved Ben Solo. But she hadn't gotten much time to figure it out or for the feelings that were there to grow beyond disappointment and a desire for him to be better.She spends an unnecessary amount time wishing he had turned to the Light in Snoke’s throne room.

But she wishes for a lot of things.

_Everything that’s happened cannot be changed._ She chants to herself, in her more melancholic moments. _You have Finn, Rose, and Poe. You are not alone._

If she thinks on it too long, it weighs her down.

It’s that feeling that stays with her today. Jaded and weary, she sequesters in her room. Her friends don’t let her stay that way for long.

“Come with me to the briefings?” Poe pops his head into the open door to her quarters. He looks just as tired as she feels, but he also seems happy. “It’s going to be awful and you just got back from the Outer Rim, but maybe you can come be miserable with me?”

The idea of being in a room full of people who can’t even decide where the Senate should meet let alone what they should meet on is not a fun one. After Jakku and over a year in the Resistance, down time is something sacred to her.

These meetings could be a distraction though. She and Poe usually go get something to eat and he tells her about some of his crazier flying stories and she tells him about her missions to quell First Order remnants. 

“You really know how to make a person want to spend time with you.” Still, she grabs her belt and jacket. 

“The Dameron charm,” Poe replies with a dazzling smile. His eyes linger on her for half a moment too long before they flutter away.

She brushes past him when she walks out, their arms brushing.

* * *

The new Senate is a mess. There had been a consensus that tweaks should be made to the former government to have more checks and safeguards on those in power because two great wars in one lifetime finally gave them a wake up call. Now, while they’re still figuring out what those differences will be, it’s a mess.

It has potential, definitely, but right now it’s full of conflicting ideas and voices that Rey is grateful she’ll have no real part in it. She’s mostly there to support her friends and be the wise Jedi council people want her to be, despite her having no interest in politics.

  
Finn is elected a Senator of Ajan Kloss much to his chagrin. More permanent settlements were being built for refugees of the First Order’s destruction and what’s left of the Resistance that chose to retire and stay there. Finn is taken aback by the news, but Rey doesn’t think he should be because whether he likes to admit it or not, he’s popular among Resistance fighters and the people alike. People want to hear his voice and he has charisma and ideas that would be good in a room full of people fighting over egos and power.

He trades in his title of General for Senator and after going off with Rose one night he declares that he’ll be going by Senator Finn Tico now.

“So you got married and didn't invite us?” Poe asks the next morning at breakfast, waving his spoon back and forth between them while Rey tries to hide her smile.

“No! I just—” Finn looks sheepish. “I was talking about last names, I mean even Rey has one now and I can’t exactly be a Skywalker. And—and Rose offered hers.”

“And then you guys made out?”

Rose doesn't even look embarrassed she just snorts. “Not even a little.”

This time Rey does laugh out loud. Finn looks flustered and sullen and Poe shakes his head in mock disappointment.

Apparently, Finn and Rose have stuff to work through too. She leaves it alone, because complicated is something she understands.

* * *

She attacks Finn in a blur of yellow and green, ignoring their small audience.

Teaching her best friend is surprising easy; he asks her to make comments throughout their sparring on what he’s missing and he corrects it. Rey enjoys having him up to par to the point that she no longer has to hold back on him and Finn enjoys everything beyond training courses.Mostly everything.

“Stop feigning left!”

“Got it.”

She hears the two people on the edge of the clearing talking.

“If you had a lightsaber what color would it be?”

“I’m pretty sure it depends on the Kyber crystal and the Jedi, Poe.”

“Yeah, but hypothetically, what color would you _want_?”

Finn swings and Rey blocks it and kicks him in the side.

“Ow!”

“Didn’t I say stop feigning left so much?”

“I don’t know, maybe purple? Is it possible to have a purple one?”

“I dunno—Rey! Can someone have a purple lightsaber?”

She parries an attack by Finn and calls to Poe, “Yes, they can.”

“Thanks! Yeah, I would choose purple too, good idea, Rose.”

“Right leg!” She calls and he quickly fixes it, swinging again but harder.

“This is the coolest thing I’ve seen in years.”

“Yeah, I totally can’t tell from the way you're ogling Rey.”

“Who says I’m just ogling Rey? Finn looks great in those training robes.”

Finn falters and laughs a little, and Rey takes advantage of his distraction. She hits his saber out of his hand and knocks him on his back in quick succession.

“ _Ow_.” Finn groans, throwing an arm over his eyes. Rey looks down and grins.

“Woo!”

“Aren’t you going to cheer for your boyfriend, Tico?”

“He’s not my boyfriend, Poe. And did you see what Rey just did? That’s beyond cool. Plus, Finn shouldn't have gotten distracted.”

“Exactly,” Rey tells Finn. She stretches out her hand in offering. He had peeked out and looked at Rose after the first part of her sentence and is nearly pouting when he grasps Rey’s arm and stands up. He reaches his hand out and his lightsaber flies back. “You get distracted too easily, but other than thought you did great.”

He seems to have missed her praise. “Listen, staying focused and immersed in the Force is hard when people are jabbing right behind me about rainbow lightsabers—”

“What, are you going to ask your opponents to stop talking when you start fighting?” Rose counters at the same time Poe says, “Hey, we both said purple, not rainbow.”

“I don’t have any opponents besides Rey!” Finn pants out even while he goes over and sits next to Rose who hands him his flask of water with an eye roll.

“Not forever.” Rey points out to him. They’ve got enough reports of leftover First Order loyalists stirring up trouble that her training with Finn was no longer just recreational. “You know the reports that Poe’s been getting, and if I get sent to deal with them, I want you to come with me, but I’m not letting you near the fights with your saber until you’re ready.”

Finn grunts and takes several gulps of water. “Listen, I think I’m ready, just don't bring these two—” Poe and Rose make equally indignant noises, “—and we’ll be fine.”

Rey walks to where Poe is sitting and plops down next him with a chuckle and takes a few gulps of water from her own canteen of water, wiping her sweat wipes from her brow. “Don’t worry, Poe’s too important and Rose is a genius mechanic and engineer but not someone I’m bringing into battle.”

Rose seems unbothered by the statement and says, “Please don’t.” Poe, of course, is much less happy about it.

“It’s not fair, he gets to be a Jedi _and_ a Senator. The best of both worlds and all the action, while I’m stuck trying to get those idiots to decide on inferred powers. No wonder Finn’s on such a power trip lately.”

“Just because I spoke out for more checks and balances on—”

“The Senate needs to be able to get things done without—”

In the shade of trees and her body cooling, she relaxes despite the bickering going on.

She relishes in the feeling of content, stretching her legs out. In doing so, her knee brushes against Poe's. Normally, casual contact wasn’t weird between them. It happened all the time, a brush of fingers when passing a fruit or a touch of shoulders when they walked past each other but this, this felt different.

She looks up and sees him looking back, and she feels warm and tingly with his warm brown eyes trained on her, watching her with usual intensity.

She doesn't move her leg and neither does he for the rest of their time out there.

If she presses her shoulder into Poe’s as they laugh and he tilts his head closer to hers than normal when they walk back to the barracks together, she decides to call it simple companionship.

* * *

“How have you been?” Rose asks her, sidling up next to her on the sofa in Rey’s quarters. She looks like she just got off a shift at the base. She’s been working on improving defense mechanisms for planets under attack and system-wide evacuation tech. It seemed like an incredible amount of work, a lot of trial and error and not enough funding and then not enough time, but Rose seemed to thrive in it.

“Good.” She shrugs. She'd gotten back from another mission the other day, so she hadn’t planned on leaving her living area and kept her hair down and her sleeping clothes on. “I’ve been trying to decide what planets Finn and I are going to start looking for apprentices. If we even find any.”

She still has mixed feelings about training anyone other than Finn. Despite her anger at Luke when finding out what he did to Ben, what if she wasn't much better. Or what if one day an apprentice turned against her and the fight against the Dark Side began anew? She didn’t feel qualified to teach a whole new generation of Jedi and she didn't want to see another war in this lifetime.

And what exactly would she teach them? She still had issues with the Jedi Order’s stance on attachment and emotion.

Rose is watching her intently, fiddling with her Haysian smelt medallion. “Do you want to find any?”

“I don't know. I think I’m just looking because I feel like I have to.”

“It hasn't been that long since the war, Rey.” She lets go of the necklace and leans toward her. “I know right now you and Finn are the only ones, but things are okay right now, calm even. There’s no rush to start rebuilding the Jedi Order tomorrow.”

Rey just sighs. “Maybe.”

“Spend some time with people you love.”

“I’m doing that right now.”

“Ha, that’s sweet. But I’m talking about someone else, dummy.”She puts on a thoughtful expression. “Perhaps someone with the last name Dameron?”

She scowls. “I’m going to go train, I’ll see you later.”

“You’re going to train in your pajamas?”

“How about we talk about you and Finn? I don’t know about you, but a boy taking your last name seems serious.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

Rey nudges Rose’s foot and raises her eyebrows. It earns her a laugh.

“Okay, fine. Before, during the war, I said I loved him and he said he didn’t feel the same.” Rose stops and says, “Which I’m assuming you know.”

Rey nods. Finn had told her after she’d found him staring at a wall blankly. It had led to a long conversation on Stormtrooper brainwashing and tearful confessions. She’ll keep those secrets to herself though.

“He said he couldn't love me the way I wanted him to, and I understood. I was hurt, but not mad or anything, because it’s not his fault he doesn’t love me like that. So it was fine, I don't mind being friends, Finn’s wonderful, and I’ve worked at to trying get over it.” Rose stops and purses her lips.

“But?”

“But sometimes he just gives me mixed signals. He’ll say or do something that makes think, ‘Maybe he does love me like that now.’ But he never says anything. And I put my heart on the line last time, I’m not going to do it again. Honestly, I offered my last name because he’s my friend no matter what happens between us. I would’ve offered it to you too if you hadn’t chosen Skywalker.” Rey gives her an appreciative smile and Rose waves it off. “You guys became my family, Finn especially. So I told him to take it.”

“Do you want me to beat him up at training tomorrow morning?” She offers because she doesn't want to get involved in their relationship, even if she has noticed the look in Finn's eyes when he looks at Rose.

It’s a look she wishes someone would give her. A look that reminds her of being in the shade of trees, her friends around her, and knees pressed together.

Rose laughs. “Thanks, but I think I’ll just continue living in this weird in-between for now. It’s easier this way and we all have enough going on.”

“You're not wrong.” Dozens of arguments and laughs, meetings endured side by side. A head of shiny black curls and a jaw line she wants to trace with her fingertips.

But Rose is right. They're busy enough with a barely formed Republic, and they have all the time in the world to figure out what they want.

When Rey is stabbed in the ribs by a spear on mission a few weeks later, surrounded by four black cloaked figures attacking her at once, she wonders if maybe that's not exactly true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> coming up: another battle scar, more arguing bc 'you're hurt, how can i not be freaking out!!!', a visit from a Force ghost, much more Rose, and earning that M rating
> 
> P.S. i wasn't sure if people would care about the details and changes to the New Republic government (which i’ve kind of stolen pieces from the US/UK’s form of governments) and New Coruscant so that's why there are just mentions and general ideas


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, sorry this is like over two weeks late. I had a really bad sinus infection so i worked on this when i wasn't sleeping or miserable. Hopefully this doesn't suck as much as i feel like it does?? there is a fine line between cheese and cute and it was crossed but listen!! i want them happy. Rey, Finn, Poe, and Rose deserve like the world's longest vacation.
> 
> also when I was rereading the first chapter and fixing some typos I noticed I included Snap. I know that in canon he’s dead but let’s just say he managed to eject at the last second on Exegol and no one saw him because of everything going on. this is fic so I say he lives lol
> 
> Finally, peep a few quotes from Trevorrow’s leaked 'Duel of the Fates' during one of Rey and Finn’s conversations. It was a flawed script but had some really greats quotes imo.
> 
> ((bitches don't proofread. i am bitches))

It wasn’t Finn’s fault, it was hers. Later, the irony wouldn't be lost on her that after repeatedly telling him not to get distracted, it is exactly what she does on their first mission together.

Rey had been nervous. They’d gotten reports that an unspecified number of First Order loyalists had decided to base on a deserted part of Ossus. The New Republic was eager to get a foothold in the Outer Rim and put an end to skirmishes, so Rey was asked if she was willing to go and to bring Finn with her.

He was ready. He’d been training diligently for weeks, so the pair along with back up soldiers and medics, boarded a New Republic vessel.

Things started out fine. She and Finn were able to find the group of remnants after searching abandoned outposts, but things went downhill once the fighting began.

“Three for you, three for me?” Finn had asked as he thumbed on his lightsaber and the cloaked figures approached.

She nodded. “Good luck.” Then turned on her own as they both pounced on the spear handed figures.

Finn had held his own, used everything she’d taught him and seeing him use the Force and his lightsaber with such fluidity made Rey beam with pride. He was her best friend and the only other Jedi in the galaxy besides her.

After dispatching what was supposed to be her last opponent, she began to walk to help Finn finish off his last one.

She doesn't know how she didn't sense them. Maybe she’d been too focused on helping Finn. Regardless, Rey realized that there were more of them too late, after she received a blast to her shoulder.

She’d stumbled forward and whirled around, seeing four hooded figures quickly surrounding her. One swung his spear and she’d blocked it and kicked out the feet of another closing in on her.

Was there more surrounding Finn?

She got one in the chest and cut the arm off of the guy with the blaster, but just as she was pulling back her lightsaber and turned to her friend, she felt an explosion of pain on her side.

“ _Rey!_ ” She didn't have time to look back, instead she glanced down at the spear that had been lodged into her ribs by the cloaked figure that had gotten up.

“Finn—” she whispered raising her weapon, but the pain in her side was blinding. She must have received a knock to the head because all she saw was bright green and a flurry of fabric before her world went dark.

* * *

When Rey comes to, she doesn't move besides a flex of her fingers. If she’s been captured, she doesn't want her new cloaked friends to know that she’s awake. Slowly, she reaches out into the Force. She feels two people, both familiar and one reaches out in response—

Finn.

“She’s awake!” 

Her eyes fly open and exhales a painful sigh of relief at the sight of Rose and Finn rising out of chairs that are pulled up to her bedside.

“You’re okay,” she breathes out. Aside from a scratch on his eyebrow, Finn appears uninjured.

“I’m okay? Are _you_ okay? You got stabbed! I got to you as soon as I could but you were out by the time I took care of those idiots.”

“What happened? Did you get them all?” She tries to sit up and Rose comes over to help.

“Alright, wait, Rey, how are you feeling? You were in bacta for a while and even when you got out you didn't wake up. It’s been a few days,” Rose informs her, holding her hand firmly. She looks exhausted, but Rey notices that Finn does too. They're both sporting some dark circles under their eyes and their clothes were wrinkled.

“I’m—” She takes a moment to search for the pain and when she moves, her ribs feel tender and her head hurts. “I’m okay. A bit sore, but I’m good.”

Finn exhales a shaky laugh. “Good, you had us worried. Rose was screaming at the doctor, Poe wouldn’t leave your side, and I was a blubbering mess.”

She takes another quick glance around the room, even if she knows Poe isn’t there.

Finn notices. “Poe had to go to negotiations. Some of the resisting Outer Rim planets sent delegations and they made it clear if they were going to join the New Republic, the talks had to happen today. It took us an hour to get him to leave. He hadn't since we got you back here, we had to force him to a fresher. He wasn’t very happy about it.”

She shrugs off her disappointment at the image of an angry Poe storming around. “It’s not a big deal. I’m fine.”

“You better be.” Finn reaches down to give her a hug, which she returns as strongly as she can. “Can you imagine me being the last Jedi? The Order would be done for.”

Rey releases him. “You just don’t want to actually read the old Jedi texts. The studious part of the Force would be your downfall.”

“Hey, I read _some_ scans of those dusty old pages, didn't I?” Finn defends. She chuckles, then winces at the pang at her side. In a moment, her friends’ faces morph into worry.

“Finn, can you get the doctor? I don’t think she wants me talking to her again.” Rose admits sheepishly.

He nods and jogs out of the room.

“What hurts?” Rose asks her seriously once it’s just them.

“Head and ribs.” She responds, touched by her friend’s understanding that she might not have been so honest if Finn was there, mostly to spare him the guilt if the look on his face when she woke up was any indication.

Rose frowns. “That nutjob’s spear wasn’t a joke. He nicked your lung. There was a lot of blood.” She can only imagine what Finn felt finding her like that. As much as she loved and cared for her first and fondest friend, he felt the same way. She’d heard Finn call her name before she passed out, she remembers. The genuine fear in it plays back in her head.

There’s a brisk knock before a young, curly haired woman walks in with Finn trailing behind her. “Master Rey, I’m glad to see you awake.”

“Just Rey.”

“Yeah, Doctor Hentir. That’s my nickname for her.” Finn informs the woman. It had began as a joke, Finn calling her that and himself her young Padawan, but the more she showed her dislike for it, the harder the nickname stuck. Now, he called her it and she begrudgingly allowed it.

Doctor Hentir nods. “Well, Rey, it’s good to see you awake.”

After a short check on vitals, the doctor turns back to them. “When you arrived after your attack on Ossus, the blade had slid between two of your ribs and punctured your lung, leaving a lot of internal bleeding and a nearly collapsed lung.”

Any amusement that had been on Finn’s face vanishes as he reaches for Rose’s hand, who Rey notes just grabs onto it reflexively. What else has been happening while she’d been unconscious besides yelling at innocent doctors? They’re both standing awfully close to each other.

“…and you’ve healed up nicely. I expect no permanent damage beyond a scar.”

Rey blinks at the woman and hopes it looked like she was listening. It wasn't that Rey didn't believe the situation was serious, she just knew she was fine now and didn't want to dwell on her injuries. What’s a scar when you’ve died before? Every other injury becomes remarkably less terrifying. Although, if that spear had gone any higher it might have been a different story.

There would have been no one to save her this time.

Flashes of Ben, Palpatine, and her final memories before falling to Exegol’s floor, leave her feeling short of breathe. Just when she is trying to turn her attention back to Doctor Hentir, she hears it. Well, him.

She hears him well before he gets there, but when he does, a chaotic looking Poe Dameron slides into her room.

“Rey.”

Finn looks up surprised. “I was just about to comm you, how’d you—”

“General Dameron asked that I inform him via messenger immediately when Master Rey woke up.”

After a look from Finn, Doctor Hentir frowns and corrects, “When Rey woke up.”

Poe ignores everyone else and walks toward her. He maintains eye contact the entire time, reaching his arm out but not touching her even as he gets close enough to. His mouth thins as he examines her, eyes lingering on her forehead.

“I’m okay.” She tries to reassure.

“You were unconscious. For three days.”

“Rose said it was two.”

“This is the third day.”

“Well, it’s morning so technically it was only two days.”

“Are you seriously arguing about how long you were unconscious for?” He put his hands on his waist and it’s a struggle not to smile at the funny habit. It’s assertive, odd, and strangely works for him. “The ones you were half dead for?”

“Are you seriously arguing about it when I’m clearly alive and well now?”

Poe sighs and he turns away. “Doctor Hentir, how is she?”

Hentir repeats what she’d just told her and Rey tries to listen this time. After being told that she’s fine, she nudges him. “See? Stop freaking out.”

“You could have died! How can you expect me to not freak out?” He demands. Rey looks to Finn and Rose but they look like they agree.

“It’s the job, Poe,” she huffs. “This mission was far from the most dangerous one I’ve been on and it’s far from the last.”

“Yeah, well—” Poe looks more angry than she’s seen him in a while. “That sucks.”

For some reason, it makes her crack a smile. “This is our life.”

He puts his hands over his face. “We all need to go into early retirement.” She hears him, even though it’s muffled. “Should just go to live with my dad back on Yavin IV.”

Hentir clears her throat. “Rey, we’ll keep you here for another two days, just to keep an eye on things and make sure you’re fully healed. Make sure you get lots of rest.” She turns toward Rose, Finn, and Poe, “And no arguing or extraneous behavior.” And with that she leaves.

“If you guys want to go get some rest, I’ll stay behind.” Poe says, sitting in Finn’s abandoned one. “My meeting’s over.”

“You don’t have to, I’m sure you’re all exhausted—” Rey starts but stops when all three of them glare at her.

She raises her hands in surrender. Finn grins and says, “Master Rey, you’re alive and conscious. Rose and I are going to go get some shut eye.”

_Together?_ she nearly asks, but decides not to. “Sleep well, my young Padawan. You too, Rose.”

“We’ll be back later.” Rose says reassuringly. “Let us know if you need anything.”

The room is much quieter once Rose and Finn are gone.

“Are you really alright?”

“I am.”

Poe nods curtly, because, she hopes, he’ll trust her on this. She is fine, some things are tender, but she really doesn't feel that terrible considering. She’s adjusting the blankets covering her legs when she feel a light touch to her forehead. She looks up to Poe tracing back and forth with a frown.

“It’s a big bruise.”

“I’ve had worse.”

He shakes his head ruefully and his hand falls to the blanket. She tries not to miss the contact of his calloused fingers. “I’m really glad you’re—I was—” He seems nervous and Rey tries not to feel the same. “I’ve lost a lot of good people over the years. I’m happy I didn’t lose you too.”

There are some things unsaid between them, she knows. When you’ve lost so much and so many, that’s what matters most; not losing the person you care about.

She looks at him, dark circles and his curly mop of hair messier than usual. _It took us an hour to get Poe to leave for the first time, he hadn't left your side at all since we got you back here. We had to force him to a fresher._ Where she has the ghosts of her parents, Ben, Luke, and Han, Poe has ghosts of his own. His mother, all his friends from the Resistance, Leia, even Holdo.

He’s tired of losing people and she wants him to know she understands. Rey reaches for his hand. “I am here and I am okay.”

She focuses on how small her hand looks in his, both of them equally calloused. She begins tracing her thumb back and forth and Poe’s grip tightens.

She wants to tell him something. Something important and filled with all the affection she feels for him, but this isn't the time or place. Yes, this was a wakeup call for her, but she refuses to address anything bed bound after an injury, both of them a little worse for wear.

After another nod, the room is quiet.

Poe doesn't say anything else, just a murmur of her name. He keeps holding her hand and she watches his thumb move back and forth over her knuckles. The only noise is distant chatter outside her room and the pounding of her heart.

* * *

When Rey is released two days later, she’s shocked to see Poe at the exit to greet her, with BB-8 and D-O by his side.

She’s welcomed by a chorus of binary and “you are well.”

After walking over, she greets Poe. “What are you doing here?”

“You mentioned that you were getting discharged around this time and I was in the area so,” He shrugs as BB-8 rolls toward him.

_“No, you were not. You cancelled your meeting with Senator Naberrie.”_

Poe nudges the droid with his foot, “No I didn’t, buddy. I had some free time. Remember?” Rey watches, trying to hide her growing amusement.

_“You did not—”_ BB beeps back.

“You are well.” D-O declares while the other two snipe at each other.

She reaches down to pat D-O, the only affection he allowed from humans. “Yeah, it was no big deal. I’m good as new.”

“ _Poe was very nervous._ ” BB beeps.

Poe rubs his hand across his forehead and mutters, “I knew I should have just left you with Finn.”

The Senate building isn’t exactly far from the hospital, but he’s normally swamped with calls and briefings at this time of the day. He’s acting like it’s no big deal though. As she gives BB-8 a warm smile, he holds out a closed metal container to her. “Glad you’re out.”

“What’s this?” She asks, taking the tin carefully.

“Figured you’d want something other than the muck they serve patients.”

She opens the container and inside, filled to the rim, is fruit jelly. He’s right; it looks delicious after the bland hospital food she’s been forced to eat the past few days. Growing up alone and isolated, the gesture causes an almost painful tug at her heart.

Poe is looking at her, bashful. For a man so brash and brave, he had a big heart. “Thank you. For this and for being here.”

“Like I said, in the neighborhood.” He says while glaring at BB-8, who rolls toward Rey and beeps defensively.

“Right,” she replies, attempting to keep a straight face.

After looking miffed for a little longer, he gestures toward to her. “My dad always said that when someone’s hurt all you can do is be there for them. Well that, and bringing them their favorite dessert.” He smiles, a small but fond one. The one he uses when he spoke about Kes Dameron. He doesn’t like to leave Yavin IV so Rey has never met him, but she can see how much Poe misses him.

She tugs on his arm. “Let’s head back to my place, I need to change out of these clothes and get some real food to go with this.”

Poe allows himself to tugged and BB-8 and D-O following along diligently.

“Great, I need some help going over the plans for market regulations in the Outer Rim.”

“Ah, so that’s why you really came.”

“One reason among many.”

One of many. She can guess what some of the other reasons are.

She will talk to him, she just has a few things to work through first.

* * *

“How are the shields going?”

Rose groans as she leans against the hood that’s propped up. They're the only two in the hangar because of the late hour, but working on ships gives them some time to catch up.

“That bad?” She asks, pointing at a small wrench.

“You would think that building Star Destroyer protection tech would be met with more enthusiasm after the Hosnian System. Instead, I’m constantly being berated about funding and updates and _why haven't I made more progress it’s been almost a year._ ” Rose says as she hands over the wrench, poking at the coolant container. “Never mind the fact that something like this has never been done before and Snap and I spend half our time in meetings defending it instead of working on it.”

Rey couldn't help but agree with her frustration. What Poe, Finn, and the other Senators had built seemed to be a system meant to last. It was also much more complicated than before.

The Senate Funding Committee strong-armed every credit spent, leaving Rose and her team perpetually annoyed and frustrated that they could never finish what they started.

“It’s just the committees testing the extent of their powers under the new system. I was at one of the the hearings a few days ago and I saw a lot of showing off. Hey, can you pass me that when you’re done?” Rey gestures with her elbow at the tool in Rose’s hand.

Once she hands it over, Rose replies, “Yeah, and the older Senators are the ones serving on the committee for the first rotation because they have the most experience. So they’re extra suspicious and stingy. It’s ridiculous but,” she steps away from the wiring she’d been working on and eyes it. “What can I do? I’m not a Senator.”

“You should be. You’d whip them into shape in no time.”

“Ha, thanks for the vote of confidence but I’m not exactly eager to join in on hours of talking in circles and haggling for votes.”

Rey makes a face. She’d seen them all in action, and the amount of work it took to get anything done made her once again grateful that it was not a job she would ever do. She did feel like Rose could do it though, despite her clear distaste for it. “Two Senator Ticos _would_ be cool.”

Rose scoffs. “Anyway, I keep telling Finn he better fight for a seat on the Funding Committee in the next rotation because if he’s on there, maybe he can get the rest to leave me alone and let me do my job.”

Just as Rey’s about to ask about what’s going between her and Finn, she hasn't forgotten the hospital, a familiar blonde walks toward them.

“Kaydel!”

“Hey Rose, hey Rey.” Connix looks windblown, but dressed nicely. Now Poe’s top diplomat, Connix had to look more polished for away missions. Seeing her so spruced up, Rey thinks about how far they are from their days in Ajan Kloss’ jungles.

Rose wipes her hand on an oily rag. “How was the mission? Chandrila, right?”

“Yup. They were difficult to please and vague with answers, but,” Connix shrugs. She was eyeing the hanger as if she was looking for someone. “I think I got what I needed. I even had time to pop in the Gordian Reach to pick up some supplies and a stowaway.”

“A stowaway?” Rose asks. Both she and Rey look behind her, but see no one.

Connix just looks pleased with herself. “You’ll see. It’s a surprise for the big boss.”

Before either of them can ask anymore, she turns to Rey. “How are you? I heard about what happened.”

“Still here.” She pats her ribs.

“Good.” Connix says sincerely, offering her a lopsided smile. “I was worried that after an entire war and defeating an all-powerful Sith, some idiots in blankets would get you on some dusty part of Ossus.”

“I’m not so easily killed.” She hadn’t meant anything by it, but the moment she says it, it doesn't seem as funny.

_Lightening, so bright and so very painful._

_Then exhaustion. Darkness, light, and voices. Feeling a war being fought above her head._

_These are your final steps, Rey. Rise and take them._

_Rise in the force._

_I am all the Jedi._

Will Exegol ever leave her alone?

“Anyway, I’m going to go sleep for at least fourteen hours. The trip made me brain dead. See you.” Connix chirps before waving at Rey and Rose and walking off.

Rose turns back to the ships they were working on and sighs. “We still have the YV-666 freighter to work on.”

It’s been a while since she’s had trouble sleeping, but a distraction sounds good tonight.

As they begin working again she reminds herself that she is there, she is not the last Jedi, and she is far from that planet where she lost so much.

* * *

The next morning, she's not fully awake when she stumbles into the mess. She and Rose worked long into the night on the freighter that had been donated to the government.

Ignoring the others that are there, Rey gets a tray and Force pulls some items onto it when she hears, “Ah! I am in the presence of a Jedi.”

She looks to where the voice came from and is taken aback. For the briefest second she thinks it’s Poe; the face so similar to the point that it’s jarring when she realizes its not. This man has different hair and a different face shape. He has smile lines and a greying beard.

This must be the surprise Connix had mentioned.

“Kes Dameron?”

His eyebrows raise. “I am. And you must be the hero of the war I’ve heard so much about. Rey?”

She jerkily nods her head before holding out her hand. “Rey Skywalker.”

“Well, it’s lovely to meet the Rey my son always talks about.”

She opens her mouth and then closes it. She hopes her blush isn't as obvious at it feels.

After pushing aside his tray, he adds. “I heard a lot from Leia too.”

“You knew Leia?”

Kes nods, his expression fond. “Served under her during the Rebellion. She was closer to my wife, Shara, but when she passed, Leia and I stayed in contact. I’m too old to fly now but General Organa liked to keep me in the loop. Last time we spoke, she told me how great you were doing during your training.”

Rey manages a smile. Out of everyone lost during the war, she misses Leia the most. She was the closest thing to a mother and mentor that she had. She longed for the days of training when Leia balanced their time with helpful critiques, inspiring talks, and plenty of dry humor.

“I miss her too.” Kes says with a knowing smile. He gestures toward the chair across from him. She takes it after realizing she’d been awkwardly standing at the edge of the table. “But she would be very proud of all you’ve done.”

“Thank you.” She says, straightening in her seat. Kes seemed kind but praise makes her uncomfortable.

“Pops, I couldn't find your glasses.” Poe walks through the doors and pauses at seeing Rey and his father sitting there. “Please tell me you haven’t been telling her embarrassing stories from when I was seven and stupid.”

“It’s not all about you, kid,” Kes replies wryly. “Besides, the ones from when you were seventeen and stupid are much worse.”

Poe comes over, throwing Rey a smile. After her answering one, he turns to Kes, “I said I was sorry.”

“You became a spice runner.”

“Growing pains.”

She smiles into her breakfast. It seemed arguing is a common means of showing affection among the Damerons.

After tutting disapprovingly, Kes turns his gaze back to Rey, “The grief this boy has given me. He thinks now that he’s a hotshot general I’ve forgotten.”

“He’s still giving people grief, me especially.”

Poe glares. “I’m going to remember that next time you ask for my dessert.”

“Rose will give me hers.”

He puts a hand on his chest. “So easily you replace me.”

She pats his hand sympathetically, missing the knowing look Kes gives them. She only turns when he rises from his seat.

“Well, Rey, it’s lovely to meet you but I have to go find my glasses. Age hasn't been kind and I have to find them before I meet up with some old friends.” He offers his hand and she shakes it warmly. “I’m sure I’ll see you later, but just in case I don't, if you ever find yourself near Yavin IV don’t hesitate to stop by. We have a Force Tree you might like.”

She notes that he and Poe have similar smiles, although Kes’ seems more ever-present and easygoing. Poe had a catalogue of them, the sardonic one, the affectionate one, the annoyed one, the soft—

His father is right here. Stop thinking about his fifty types of smiles.

“Thank you, Sergeant Dameron. I would love to see it.”

“Call me Kes.” His expression thens turns mischievous. “Maybe you can drag my son along with you. I had to come all the way to New Coruscant to see him since Mr. General refused to come to Yavin.”

“I’ve been a little busy the past few years, Dad,” Poe grumbles.

“Too busy to visit your father?”

“I was fighting a war!”

“Excuses. Your mother and I visited you all the time during our service in the Rebellion.”

Poe looks annoyed, but Kes just pats his cheek and waves at a smirking Rey. “See you.”

“That was my dad.” Poe says, as if this was neither apparent or pleasant.

“Yup.” Her smile is still in place. “I like him.”

* * *

“I thought it was funny.”

“Me too, I don’t know what they're talking about.”

“It was boring. That was the last time Rey and I let you pick the holovid.”

“It’s my turn next time.” Rey informs them. They’re all crowded around for breakfast and she and Rose are expressing their dislike for the previous night’s entertainment. Poe and Rose had liked it, but they always liked the same ones.

“Okay, but if it’s one of the those docu things on Outer Rim special species, I’m boycotting.”

“Good, maybe then we can watch it in peace and quiet.” Rose teases.

“I don’t talk _that_ much during the holovids.” Finn defends. Poe, Rey, and Rose look at him expectantly and he huffs.

“Do you want to take BB and D-O today?” Poe asks, steering the conversation elsewhere. “I know I’ve had them a lot since my dad was here.”

“I don’t mind, but sure. I’ve got some things to fix up on the freighter and I could use the company. I’ll bring them with me at lunch so you can see them.”

Watching the two, Rose is smiling. “You guys sounds like a married couple figuring out whose taking the kids with them to work.”

“We do not.”

“You do.” Finn agrees.

“You and Poe are the two always making eyes at each other when you argue about politics.”

Finn throws an arm around Poe’s shoulders. “My work husband.”

Poe leans his head on his shoulder. “The wedding was beautiful.”

Eventually, when he’s the first one done eating, Poe announces. “Got to go argue with Senator Muna about the difference between stopping the spread of false information and censorship.” When he stands and turns toward the droids, he says. “Bye guys, you’re with Mom today.”

She scowls at him. He walks away with a bounce in his step and Rey tries her best not to laugh at BB’s commentary.

When they all finish up and head their separate ways, Rey is halfway to the hangar when she passes a young girl who gasps. There’s an older woman who must be her mother next to her who looks equally surprised.

“I saw your picture on the news! You’re Rey Skywalker, the Jedi right?” The girl squeals. “You won the war!” She’s jumping up and down in excitement and Rey does her best not to look too flustered.

The mother gives her an apologetic smile. “Sorry. She likes watching the news.”

“No problem at all.” Rey kneels down to the girl’s eye level. “What’s your name?”

“Nani.”

“Well, Nani, I had a lot of help. Loads of people working together across the galaxy helped us win the war.”

The girl nods eagerly. “But you’re the one that got rid of the First Order and those bad guys, Kylo Ren and the old Emperor.”

Nani’s mother looks at her daughter disapprovingly. “What exactly have you been watching?”

_I didn’t_ , she wants to say. _Not on my own. The Force ghosts were with me. Ben was with me, he wasn’t a bad guy at the end._

He's the reason she’s here and she didn't even get to say goodbye. And that’s it, isn’t it? She never gets to say goodbye. To her parents, to Han, Luke, Leia. Ben.

”Master Skywalker? Are you okay?” Nani asks, still looking at her with wide eyes.

“ _Is there something wrong?_ ” BB asks, D-O circling the group of them.

What was wrong? Today had been a good day. She was happy and alive.But so many weren’t. Ben wasn’t. She had thought she was at peace with it. 

She forces a smile at Nani. “I’m fine. And you can just call me Rey.”

* * *

To mark the official opening of the New Republic’s first Senate Session, someone organizes the biggest party the galaxy’s had in years. There’s planet wide celebrations, more food and drinks than Rey’s ever been near, and instead of joining the festivities she’s sitting cross legged in her bed, frowning.

After dodging plans and spending the last several hours meditating, she has decided that it’s been long enough.

_Be with me._

The room is silent but she knows he will come, any of them would if she really needed them. In the distance there's music and laughter, but she stays focused.

_Be with me._

It’s been nearly an hour so she closes her eyes more forcefully than before. “Be with me. Please?”

Still a quiet room.

_Be with me!_

“Okay.”

Her eyes fly open and Rey locks eyes with Ben. Despite calling, dreading, hoping he’d come, the ground still feels like it’s been snatched from under her when she sees him for the first time in over a year.

“Ben.”

“Hi,” he greets her, a little awkward, a lot amused, with more than a touch of sadness. He looks exactly like he had when he died. Almost. Everything about him is tinged blue.

“You’re here.”

“You called.”

“Hi.”

Again, he seems to be holding back a smile. He lingers at the corner of her room and she gestures to spot next to her on her bunk. “Sit."

He nods and comes over. She notices he’s wearing a sweater that doesn't have a hole through it. That one has been cleaned and tucked away into the back of her drawers.

There isn't a dip in the blankets or the mattress when he sits.

“How—how are you?” Ben asks haltingly.

“Can’t you tell? Being a Force ghost and all.”

“I can. But I’ve tried to give you some space.”

“Right,” she says, rubbing her sweaty hands onto her leggings.

He’s sitting there, watching her and just when he opens his mouth to say something, she blurts out, “You were a really bad person.”

He doesn't look surprised. “Yes.”

Her hands clench into fists but she keeps her gaze on him. She takes a deep breathe, to remind herself that he's there and she’s called him for a reason. Closure, acceptance. Everything unsaid.

“You did so many terrible things.”

“I did.”

“If you had lived, you would have had so much to make up for. Even though I saw the Light in you, I can’t ignore all the hurt you caused.” Ben nods along, and that’s what makes her break down a little.

She shuts her eyes, tears leaking out. Sitting there, Rey feels every angry, disappointed thought she’s had between that dusty Sith planet and now. “But I wanted you to live. I wanted you—us to maybe—”

She stops but Ben doesn’t need her to finish. “I know.” He’s looking at her with such…care. She looks away from it. “I wanted us too.”

They sit there until she feels a movement in the Force. She turns back and Ben is extending his hand. She reaches out, slowly, and is reminded of another night, one filled with damp clothing and firelight.

Ahch-To, the first time she ever touched him.

  
When their fingertips brush, she curls her fingers into his.

_You’re not alone._

_Neither are you._

_I did want to take your hand. Ben’s hand._

“I’m sorry. For everything,” he says quietly. She’s sniffling but marvels how familiar he sounds even after all this time. “I didn’t get a chance to tell you that before I died, but I want to tell you now.” Their hands lower onto the blanket, still entangled. “And you’re right, it would have taken a lifetime to fix all the damage I had done. I wish I had realized sooner that I could come back to the Light, to my family. I could have saved my mother. I could have saved a lot of people.”

She nods and the words lighten the weight on her chest, and no matter how painful, itlets her know that this is the right choice, that she needed a chance to hear and say everything they weren’t able to.

  
They sit there for some time. Rey doesn't know for how long, but she savors these moments, this _goodbye_ , this _I’m sorry_.

“I won't forget you.” Rey whispers, squeezing his hand. “But I’m ready to let you go.”

“You will move on from me.” Ben tells her in that deep, grave voice of his. “And that’s all I wish for you.” After a moment, he turns contemplative. “Even if it’s with Dameron.”

“ _Ben_.”

“I’m glad I was able to save you,” he continues, instead of addressing her indignant expression. “I’ll be here if you need me.”

“Unless you can tell what I should do regarding the future of the Jedi, which you absolutely can’t, I’m not sure there’s much you can help me with right now,” she jokes.

“No, I can’t,” he agrees, eyes trained on their hands. “That might be a conversation for Luke.”

Not _Uncle Luke_ but not _Skywalker_ either. Some progress is small.

She shrugs. “I think I’ll try to figure it out myself. I’m not sure he’d completely approve of my ideas for an updated Jedi Order.”

Ben gives a small laugh, musical and light. It doesn't hurt to hear it. “I should be the last Force ghost you call for a while then. Make your life your own.”

“I will.” She stares at him and his odd sort of handsomeness. She lets go of his hand, fights the urge to cling to it, to not let this end yet. But she has to. “Goodbye, Ben.”

“Goodbye, Rey.” He says gently and pulls back his hand. They share one more look, a look that she hopes conveys everything that she’s felt, everything that could’ve been.

The last thing she sees is Ben Solo smiling.

* * *

“You didn't miss much. Senator Gillo barfed in a flower pot, Senator Shryla annoyed Poe into the next system, and everyone wondered where the famous Jedi Master was, but overall it was bori—” He has to slide threw the dirt away from her attack before he finishes. “Boring. Wow, you’re really not holding back today.”

“Definitely not, my young Padawan.” Rey parries a hit that Finn swings, then flips her saber so she’s holding the handle backwards. “They had you. You’re nearly as good as I am, now, and you still manage to do your duties. Speaking of, did you get more support for the reformed judicial system?”

“Some of them are still iffy on letting a Jedi be a Senator, so I usually stick to talking about Senate work with them.” She spins her saber to attack his shoulder and he raises his. “And Corellia and Anaxas are game, so now I just have to whip up a few more votes.” Finn stumbles back as she strikes, “Then I can bring it to the floor without it crashing and burning.”

She smiles as genuinely as she can while beginning another attack. “That’s great, Finn.”

After a grunt and a succession of movement gain him some ground, he asks, “What did you get up to? Did you decide yet if you want to look for more students? I’ll have time if you want to go after this session of the Senate is done.”

She huffs and as he strikes, and swings her arm up and to block it. The yellow and green clash, vibrating against each other. “I haven’t. I know I have to. But, I still…don’t know.”

“You’ve been an amazing teacher, Rey.”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

She stops moving and focuses on the cool breeze blowing through some loose strands of hair into her face. “I keep thinking about what I want the Order to be. Before, there was supposedly balance, but the dark suffocated the light, the light extinguished the dark. Over and over and over again. How is that balance in the Force? How am I suppose to do the same thing and expect a different ending?”

What even _was_ true balance?

“It’s not and you can’t.” Finn agrees, moving away to give them both some room.

“So how can I teach people the ways of the Jedi when I don't even agree with them?”

“Change things up a little?”

“How? All the old rules and ways are hinging me.”

It’s Finn’s turn to look contemplative. “We’re not the old Jedi, we’re something new. If you want to change what the Jedi Order is, then do it. Whatever’s been done in the past clearly hasn’t worked. This is your chance to try and build something that will.”

She twirls her lightsaber in her hand.Could she? Would Jedi ghosts come back to berate her if she did?

_If you strip away the myths and look at their deeds. The legacy of the Jedi is failure. Hypocrisy, hubris._

It was one of the few lessons Luke had given her. At the time, she had disagreed with the assessment whole-heartedly. Now, she knew there was some truth to it. But the Jedi had done so much good too.

Deciding not to try and solve this problem now, she readies her stance again. “I’ll think about it. But no matter what, thank you. For being something new with me.”

“Always.” He replies, before charging at her. After a few moves of silence, “You never answered, how come you made me and Poe endure the schmooze fest on our own?”

Rey does her best to shrug nonchalantly. “I spent time with an old friend.”

After saying goodbye to Ben, she had sat in her room, wondering if now that she’d closed that door, she was ready to open another one. One that included Poe, who at the very least was fond of her. Rey was still a little scared.

“Who? I’m literally your oldest friend.” He asks, interrupting her train of thought. She slashes at him, causing him to nearly fall over. “Ow.”

“It was Ben.”

“Ben?"

"Yes."

"As in Ben Solo?”

“Yes.”

“As in Kylo Ren, Ben Solo?”

“Do we know any others?” 

Finn gives her an incredulous stare before thumbing off his lightsaber. She does the same. “He visited you as a Force ghost?”

“I kind of called him.”

Thankfully, he seems to take the information in stride. “Well, how’d it go?”

“Good.”

“Just good?”

“That’s all you need to know.”

“I love how open we are with each other.” He says with an affectionate shake of his head. “I hope you got what you were looking for.”

“I did.” She moves to put her saber on its hilt.

He mirrors the action and then announces, “Oh, since we’re confessing secrets, Rose and I are officially together.”

He’s getting way too good at catching her off guard. “What?” She asks. “You finally got the gall to talk about your feelings?”

“Hey, why do you assume it was me that—” She raises an eyebrow and he has the decency to look abashed. “Okay, fine. But! We’re officially a couple, hold your applause.”

“I’m happy for you.” She can tell how much he cares about Rose from his dopey smile, staring toward the part of the city where Rose worked. “How’d you do it? Did you just confess your feelings for her after breakfast?”

  
She may or may not be looking for some pointers, though she won't tell Finn that.

“I don’t kiss and tell, Master Rey. Just know that I choose you to give the speech at me and Rose’s wedding.”

“Thinking of getting married already?”

He’s keep his eyes on the growing city below them. “I’ve wasted a lot of time with her. Some of it I needed, some of it I was just too scared to say anything. But I love Rose, all her crabby mornings and crazy ideas. Every kind and funny bone in her body. I don't see that ever changing.”

_He definitely gave Rose a speech._ She promises herself she'll ask her other friend about it later.

After they’ve packed up and are heading back to the living areas, Finn turns to her, “So...can you teach me how to call Obi-Wan Kenobi?”

* * *

Before she can really grasp it, it’s been two year since the war ended. There are still the occasional skirmishes with First Order sympathizers that she and others are sent to take of, but overall things are peaceful and the Republic feels fresh and hopeful.

Rey feels the same.

It’s around the two year celebration that she’s finally ready to deal with her feelings for Poe.

When trying to figure out how to tell him, because he clearly wasn't going to do it, she wonders if she should just ask him if he wants to be to her what Finn and Rose are to each other. If being partners and lovers would be a thing he’d be interested in. 

Should she be more romantic? She didn't exactly have a lot of experience. It’s not that she thinks he’ll refuse, just that…it’ll be scary. It’ll change their friend group, this little family they’ve made. She had wanted to be sure she was ready for it.

She is now, she knows it.

But would he like some grand romantic gesture? Would he want her to just walk up and kiss him? She mulls over it for days after her talk with Finn.

In the end, things work themselves out.

* * *

She taps his arm, “This one?”

“Climbing trees, I was about six. I got a little too ambitious when I was grabbing at the branches.” He pokes her bicep. “What about this one?”

“I fell on some scrap on Jakku.”

She and Poe are sitting in the secluded area that she and Finn usually spar in. Today it's just the two of them, with Finn and Rose off at a charity event that Poe had begged off from. “One of my earliest memories. I think I was still getting used to climbing.”

They're sitting in the trees' shade again. It’s a popular spot for the two, as it gives them a rare peace and quiet that they don't get while in their government housing. When they’d gotten there, she had started asking about a scar she noticed on his forearm. From there, they exchanged stories.

“This one?” She asks, tracing a small scar on the side of his neck. Her fingers linger there, and she hears Poe’s inhale.

“It’s was—uh, on classified mission. In the Outer Rim.”

“Hm.”

He looks at her searchingly as she pulls away. She smiles and looks back at him.

A small smile grows on his face. Then, ever so slowly, he leans forward and gently grabs her chin, tracing the thin line that she’d gotten two years ago.“Where’s this one from?”

“Wayward training lesson with Leia. You and Finn were off base.”

His thumb rubs against the scar gently. She tilts her cheek into the palm of his hand.

He looks down at her lips and her heart feels like it’s stuttering to a halt. This close, he is _very_ handsome. All chiseled jaw and warm eyes. And his hair. She's always liked his hair. While she's no a stranger to his good looks, being this close to him and having him look at her like this is a little overwhelming. A good overwhelming. 

“Can I kiss you?” His gaze meet hers for a split second,

“Yes.” And then his mouth is on hers.

Her eyes flutter shut and what is a peck at first, something so sweet, so new, quickly turns into something more heated.

Contrary to what she's heard of romance, which admittedly is very little, time feels like it speeds up rather slows down as Poe kisses her. Every brush of his lips feels fleeting, making her reach for more and more. He matches her eagerness, eventually sliding his tongue into her mouth as she pulls him to her harder.

He tastes sweet, like the berries they'd snacked on on the way to the clearing. She reaches up to run her hand along his jaw like she's always wanted to. His stubble scratches against her palm and his hand on her arm tightens. 

Slowly, as the kisses become more frantic, she lays down and pulls him with her. He grips her waist tightly, sliding one hand over her rib cage.

When they break away for air, he huffs out a question. “And this one?”

“You know where it’s from.” She tells him, amused and very much eager to kiss him again.

“Humor me.”

“Ossus, cloaked madman with a spear.”

Using the hand not holding her, he props himself up. Gazing down at her, he whispers, “When you woke up, that was the day I realized how I felt about you.”

It's a straightforward confession and it's exactly what she wants. To know where they stand, to know how he feels. The affection he's looking at her with has her reaching up and to push back the curls that have fallen onto his forehead.

“As cheesy as it sounds," he says, shutting his eyes when her fingertips graze his temples, "Seeing you hurt made me realize it. From the moment I met you, you were so irritating, and funny, and brave and I knew I liked you by then, but that day I knew. I knew how I felt about you. But after everything we talked about I thought you still needed some time.”

“I did.” Some things will stay with her. But she’s learning and letting go. “But I’m good now.”

“Me too,” he tells her, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. He sits up slowly, and she frowns at the loss of touch, but then he takes his necklace off from around his neck.

She watches him smile at it and then extend his hand out to her. Her breathe leaves her. The silver band that was his mother’s twinkles at her in the light.

“I want to build a life with you. I want to be by your side not matter where either of us go, whatever we decide to do. I’m not saying let’s get married now, next month, or even next year.” He’s rambling and she finds it incredibly endearing. “I just want you to have this. I want it to be...a promise. I can’t imagine giving it to anyone else.”

She is far from the girl she was in the Jakku dessert but the words felt like everything that lonely thing wanted to hear. To be given a promise that he’s staying. That whatever came next, somebody would be there with her.

And isn’t that all anyone wants? For someone to stay, someone to build a life with.

Rey Skywalker is not good with words. So she takes the necklace and pulls it over her head. After fiddling with the new weight against her collarbone, she looks up to him. 

She grapples for something else to say to let him know she feels the same. "I'll be here." She remembers what he had once told her in the mess hall, over a year ago. When her own emotions were an ocean of turmoil and the words he'd said that had calmed them. “Today, tomorrow, and everyday after.”

* * *

Rey blinks at the last bit of New Coruscant’s suns set over the horizon. She thinks of the story that starts here, so different to anything she's ever done. It's nice to be here, knowing that her friends are too.

“Dinner’s ready!” Poe calls.

Their housing in the newly finished home blocks built on the planet, one of the many ongoing construction projects on New Coruscant, came with a huge yard, bigger than their actual living areas. When she’d asked why he’d chosen that one, Poe had just shrugged and told her it was incase she wanted to do some Jedi training, “Or you know, whatever you want to work on, I know you’ve been meaning to fix up the X-wing and—”

He’d rambled on about how living together seemed to make like a smart idea, if it was something she was interested.

She had stood there watching him critically, just to tease him a little bit, and laughed once he looked like he was panicking. “Alright.”

Now, moved in and at home, Rey has spent an hour meditating. She's decided to do what Finn suggested; change what it means to be a Jedi. Now, she has to figure out where she and Finn should go on their recruitment trip for students. Finn had already mentioned returning to Canto Bight to check out a lead.

She rises from her sitting position, stretching out the stiffness in her shoulders and turns to face Poe, whose standing in the doorway. BB-8’s excited beeping at Finn and Rose’s arrival pulls him away.

“Poe, you made this?” She hears Finn shout. “Rose, I’m telling you, we should just move in here. Neither of us can cook, and look! He made my favorite Corellian dish.”

Rey looks on as Poe, Finn, and Rose clamber into the dining room, all laughs and chatter. “I’m coming.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so as i'm sure you noticed this story ended up being not as smutty as i planned so feel free to yell at me in the comments about it but in my defense it just wasn't vibing with the rest of the chapter. next time, guys, i promise!!
> 
> there's a lot of potential with Rey’s new Jedi Academy, Finn balancing Jedi duties and being a Senator, what Poe gets up to and his plans for the future, and plenty of Rose Tico engineering the best security systems in the whole damn galaxy bc my fake ass didn't write her in this as much as i thought i would. And maybe a Yavin IV visit? Damerey kids??? there’s a lot to work through there. The possible parallels to Han, Leia, and Ben, the arguments against that, the angst.. oof. 
> 
> but…i am Unreliable so we'll see how long that takes


End file.
